The Letter Q

I’m back! Yes, that’s right, I’ve not posted for a month. And yet I’ve still somehow managed to get a fairly decent number of views. (Someone today found my blog by searching “illegal stuff.” Maybe it’s a sign telling me what I should do with my life.) But moving on…

I’m annoyed by the letter Q. Oh, it’s a fine enough letter, I suppose, but it isn’t used anywhere. And that kind of kills the alphabet game, which I played yesterday. (You know, where you look for the letters of the alphabet on signs and stuff.) It was going very well for a long time. (I didn’t even have a problem with J like I usually do. A jeep was conveniently passing us just as I reached it.)

And then I reached Q. And I was stuck for like an hour and a half. (Which would have been fine, cause I had plenty of time to kill, but it gets rather tedious searching for a letter that can’t be found ANYWHERE.) You’d think that one of the billboards advertising watches would want to tell me that it was a high Quality product, that the FedEx truck would be advertising its Quick delivery, or even that there would be a sign for a Quiznos.

But, no. Apparently, nothing is quick, quality, quiet, quaint, or queen-sized. You can’t call some random number if you have a question or comment about a product. No one wants to advertise that they’re selling quesadillas, quilts, quails, quills, or quacking ducks. There aren’t things to help you if you feel queasy. People don’t want to quadruple your savings, help you get rich enough to quit your job, send you daily inspirational quotations, or help you embark on a quest. The only place a Q can possibly be found is on a license plate. (And I am eternally grateful to the people who were ahead of us at that toll booth. There was a Q on their license plate. They saved me from possible insanity.)

So please, if you ever feel the need to advertise on a highway billboard, put a Q on there. People are depending on you.

Temptation

There are so many things that would be such fun to do, but I simply don’t have the guts for. (Or, possibly, I just don’t want to face the inevitable consequences of doing it.)

• Textbooks. Gasoline. Match. ’nuff said
• You know those pressurized cans that say, “Warning: container may explode if heated” or some such thing? Doesn’t seeing that just make you want to take one and throw it in a 400 degree oven?
• It would be lovely to take some pure sodium (Na, not Na+) and stick it in a glass of water. (And then run really fast in the opposite direction.)
• I want to get a really heavy-duty ceiling fan, tie myself to one of the fan blades, and turn it on high. And I would totally actually do this one if I could find a fan strong enough.
• If I could do it legally, breaking into a house would actually be really awesome. Just to see if I could without being caught.
• Go a few stories up. Rip a sheet into strips. Tie them together. Tie the end of the strand to something sturdy. Let it hang out the window. Climb down.
• I want to take a few hundred pillows, make a big pile, and jump from someplace high. Like really high. Wouldn’t that be fun?

Alas, all of those things will go undone. Unless, perhaps, I become a movie stuntman. (Muahahahahahah.)

Officially Lucky

Today I had to weed. (Stupid trees. Personally, I think we should just let our gardens become a forest. It’s what was here before people came, so let’s not bother messing with nature, ‘kay? Besides, by the time they’re big enough for it to matter, someone else will own the house.) So while pulling out all of these annoying trees, I happened to find a bunch of clovers. Which also happen to be in the “weed” category. *sigh* I pulled out the clump, and glanced at them.

When I was younger, I used to think that if you pulled one of the leaves on a three-leaf clover in half, it would grow back into two separate leaves, and you would have a four-leaf clover. (And it might. Who knows?) In fifth grade, my friend and I would spend recess searching for four-leaf clovers. We always tore the leaves of clovers in half. Either they didn’t grow back into two separate leaves, or we just never managed to stumble across any that we had altered, because we never ever found any ones with four leaves.

But today was my lucky day. I had found a four-leaf clover. I officially have good luck. My four-leaf clover is on the counter over there. *points* Now I’m just waiting for my good luck. It’s free to manifest itself anytime now.

four-leaf clover

Happy Fourth of July!

I hope you all had a great fourth of July. Mine was pretty good. I didn’t really do much to celebrate except go see the fireworks. (Oh, and I dressed patriotically (even if it was accidental)- a dark blue shirt with a white sweatshirt, and I’ve got a red wristband, so I was set. Plus I have awesome flag socks that I wore.(The socks were picked intentionally, though.))

Photobucket

Bonjour!

C’est la semaine des langues! J’ai eu des nouvelles de cuileann. Malheureusment, je ne sais pas beacoup des mots français, ainsi quioque j’ai mon dictionnaire anglais-français, je ne peux pas parler beaucoup.

…Uh…

Bonjour! Bonsoir, vrainment.

Um…Les fleurs sont jolies! La fleur a mangé le fromage! J’ai menti. La fleur n’a pas mangé le fromage. Il etait moi! J’ai mangé le fromage, mais je n’aime pas le fromage. Il n’etait pas moi! Je n’ai pas mangé le fromage, parce que je ne l’aime pas! Le fromage et les pommes sont bien ensemble. J’aime les pommes. J’aime les jus de pomme, aussi. Les pommes sont de les fleurs. Les fleurs sont jolies!

…Je vais en les cercles.

Je vais cesser avant j’ai mal a la tête. (J’entend les voies dans mon tête. )

Lord of the Rings

Well, I have now officially seen all three of the movies, (though I haven’t read the books) and I have come to a conclusion: I’m jealous of all the actors. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to wear those costumes and fight a bunch of really ugly things? (So if any of you end up making a movie with awesome costumes that also happens to involve some epic battles, be sure to save some minor role for me. Minor only because I can’t act. And if you happen to need me as an archer, that would be even more awesome, since bows and arrows are totally better than swords.)

I also discovered that I laugh at the most inopportune moments. It would be in the middle of some really serious scene, and then I would suddenly notice something that made me crack up. That would have been fine, except I didn’t want to ruin the scenes for my sister, who was watching with me.

*Possible Spoilers*

Anyway, I have to say that Eowyn was my favorite character. She got to wear pretty dresses AND she actually got to do something instead of standing around while other people fought.

And Gollum… I don’t know. During the second movie, I wanted to give him a hug and take care of him, but by the end of the third I thought falling into the fires of Mount Doom was exactly what he needed.

Denethor really isn’t worth mentioning here, but seeing a flaming figure run off the top of the city (it is a city, right?) made me laugh. That’s probably rather morbid and evil of me, but I found it funny.

*end spoilers*

So anyway, I’ve decided to try to read the books again. I actually remembered more of the part that I did read than I expected to. (*more spoilers* Like when they were climbing the mountain in the first one, and there was this mini-avalanche, I nearly expected Gandalf to die then, but then I realized that “Wait, no. He died in some dark underground place.” *end spoilers*) So obviously they weren’t quite as dull as I remember them being, because I don’t remember boring stuff.

One Year Anniversary

I have officially been a member of LRRH for one year. *throws confetti*

To celebrate, I was going to eat the last slice of my sister’s birthday cake, but someone else beat me to it. (How rude of them. ) And then I decided to make brownies, but my mother wouldn’t let me. So now I’m just handing out virtual cookies. Here, have a cookie. *eats cookies* Yum.

Dear Weather…

Dear Weather,
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? Ahem. I apologize, Weather. That was completely uncalled for. Allow me to start over.

As I’m sure you know, it is currently June. This usually means that you provide us with temperatures of at least eighty degrees, (Fahrenheit, by the way. Most definitely NOT Celsius. That would be bad.) allowing us to wear shorts and t-shirts. Although the occasional day in the seventies is not a problem, it is generally assumed that June brings warm weather.

Unfortunately, you seem to have decided that this year, you would deviate from the plan. Why, Weather? Why? You began well enough (though perhaps you took the warm temperature thing a bit far), but now I must wonder what is going on up there. Are you training a new apprentice who thinks it’s still March? ‘Cause really, Weather, it is not nice to get up on June 19 and discover that you are going to spend the day in long pants and a sweatshirt.

So, please, Weather, correct this most terrible mistake. I suppose that these temperatures are permissible given that it is still technically spring. However, in two days, it will officially be summer. I ask that you supply us with summer-like weather by this time, or I will be forced to take action.

Sincerely,
Spider

Tales of Geniousity II

A while ago, I made a post highlighting some moments when I acted like a genius. (Or more of one than usual, anyway.) But my geniousity didn’t end then. So here are some more recent tales of geniousity.

I have such clever ideas: I was lying in bed, in that trying-to-fall-asleep stage, and I was thinking about a letter that I thought I had received earlier that day. (I hadn’t actually gotten one, but that’s rather irrelevant.) Obviously, whoever wrote me the letter was trying to tell me something in code. I knew that, since my favorite number is three, if I wrote down every third “L,” I would find the hidden message. (Just think about that for a moment…)

You’d think someone would have corrected this in, like, third grade: So I live in this nice little suburb, right? Yeah. And obviously, there’s a pretty big city nearby. I was looking at a map the other day, and I saw the name of said city. It didn’t look right, so I mentioned to my friend that there was a typo on the map. Uh… nope. Actually, I’ve just been spelling the name of that city wrong for my whole life.

Wow, what a memory: There was a storm coming, and my mother mentioned that we didn’t need to turn on the AC (even though it was like 90) since after the storm passed, it would be cooler. I objected to this, and drawing on the information from the just-completed meteorology unit, said, “But since storms are low-pressure systems, and air converges and rises… wait… that would make it cooler, but… no. Oh! I know. Okay, so the air near the ground is warm, but then it rises, and… hang on…”

Well, that’s a great explanation: My sister asked why it rained pretty much every night when we were on a island. Once again, I grabbed info from that great meteorology unit and said, “Since there’s water on all sides, it kind of… Fwoosh, boom!” *makes elaborate gestures* Somehow, I don’t think she completely understood what I was trying to say. (Actually, I’m not sure I completely understood what I was trying to say.)

FREE!!!

I’m free.

I’M FREE!!!

*dies of happiness*